Boundaries of personal space and “normal” signs of affection vary greatly across cultures. Respect for boundaries is important because the host family and hosted participant will be accustomed to different cultural norms. Be aware of the hosted participant’s cultural background and acceptable forms of physical contact. Be sure to ask your hosted participant what is appropriate for them and what they are most comfortable with.
AFS Participants and host family members should communicate, understand and respect each other’s preferences for personal space and privacy. For example, host families should make sure that hosted participants are given ample privacy for bathroom use, showering, and sleeping.
It is important to recognize that certain signs of affection or physical contact that may be typical for your family might make a hosted participant from another country and culture uncomfortable. For example, it is common for a hosted participant from France to greet someone with a kiss on each cheek. In contrast, a hosted participant from Japan, who may typically greet someone with a slight bow, may be uncomfortable with or misinterpret such physical contact. It is important to keep these cultural differences, and your hosted participant’s comfort level, in mind while integrating them into your family.
Be sure that physical contact is appropriate and is based on the hosted participants’ needs; DON’T hug or touch a hosted participant to satisfy your own needs. Don’t assume that a hug will help a hosted participant who is sad or homesick. While a hug can be helpful in some situations for some students, sometimes physical contact could also make a hosted participant feel uncomfortable.
We recognize that sometimes it can be difficult to determine how to treat your AFS student vs. your own children, or how to treat your student if you have never parented a teenager. Cultural differences in communication styles and a lack of English language skills on the part of the student can further complicate matters. The following information, that has also been shared with students, will help you establish healthy boundaries around physical and verbal interactions between adult members of your family and your student, regardless of how you choose to interact with your own children.
Inappropriate Physical Interactions with Your Student
- Lap-sitting
- Wrestling
- Piggyback rides
- Tickling
- Giving or receiving a massage
- Showing affection in isolated areas or while one-on-one
Inappropriate Verbal Interactions with Your Student
- Discussing your sexual encounters with the student, or asking them about theirs
- Asking the student to keep a secret
- Off-color or sexual jokes
- Oversharing personal history
- Commenting on the student’s physique or body development
- Excessive use of a raised voice, i.e. yelling or screaming at the student
Examples of the “Personal Space Bubble” Across Cultures
Below you will find helpful generalizations about the “personal space bubble” across cultures that can help prepare you for what to expect from your student in this regard. Remember, not everyone fits the cultural norm in their country of origin, and the norm may vary depending on the context. The most important thing to keep in mind is to respect the student’s wishes regarding physical proximity and contact.
Gestures Across Cultures
The meanings of common gestures vary across cultures. Some gestures that are acceptable in one culture can have a very different meaning in another culture. The following chart illustrates some of these examples. When interacting with and gesturing to your hosted participant, always check that they understand your meaning. If your gestures elicit a negative response, please talk with your participant and find out what that gesture means in their culture.